31/single mom/heavy debt
Hi! I debated writing this post but I just don’t know what to do.
I am a single mom to a 3 year old and I am drowning in debt. I have about 35k in credit card debt, about 14k personal loans (through debt refinancing like lending club), 46k on my mortgage, and around 6.5 left on a car note. I don’t get child support or really have any close support. My parents live nearby and support occasionally, but it is more for when I have a work issue, they can pick him up. I rarely have time without my son with me (maybe once a month? and overnights without him maybe 4-5 times a year).
I make 35000 at my job and I was carpooling to bring in some extra coin (to the tune of 120ish) but it dried up. I do uber eats for usually 30 min each afternoon now, but I can usually only get 1-2 deliveries a day so maybe 50-70/week (not on weekends because I can’t do it when my son is in the car).
I am just desperate. My month income is 2500, my parents give me 300/month. I have no savings left to pull from (if I pull from my state retirement fund, I will no longer be able to contribute to the account at all so I would also be losing the 3.3% that my job puts into that account too).
income: 2800/month + 200-300 in uber
bills: total: 3193
mortgage+hoa – 650
electric 100 (florida – not really able to lower this, esp not now in the end of summer)
discover – 250
upstart loan – 182
barclay – 125
quicksilver – 200
car – 281
lending club 400
amex – 150
daycare – 135/week = 585 average/month
car insurance – 170
Is there anything I can do? I am just not making it. I know the credit card debt is shit, and it mostly stems from when I first put my son in daycare where it was 1200/month and I was making 1800/month. So I put the daycare on my credit cards (because I didn’t have another option) or paid cash and had to pay for other necessary things with credit (food, light bill, etc). I already shut off my internet (never had cable). My water/sewer/trash is through my HOA fee. I usually spend about 10ish on laundry a month (not in house). I just need help. Is there another way? What can I do? I have applied for job after job and just feel like I have hit my limit. I am open to most anything legal. I do sell items online (vinted) but this is realllllllyyy limited. If you can, please help.
ETA: My child’s father is a super deadbeat and was abusive. He currently has no legal rights to my child. I worked for child support in my state so I know the process and policies of it. He would have to be served and he is not a smart man, but he is smart enough to avoid service. I doubt he is working legally so there would be nothing to garnish. He could go to jail for it, but that defeats the purpose because then he is in jail with no shot of paying. I will think about reaching out to him to see if he can assist without an order.
Edited to add 2: I’ll just throw this out there. I’m not trying to be nitpicky or a jackass about child support. I know the laws in Florida like the back of my hand and while I might be able to serve him (might is the key word), he will not pay. He works largely under the table. He threatened to murder my extended family and myself literally. He had multiple weapons and while fear played a huge part in his abuse of me, I don’t doubt him. It is a huge part in why I never filed before. Sure I have less fear now, but I don’t feel it is worth the risk. I did discuss it with my best friend who knew him and she knew my fear. She agreed that it’s not worth the risk. She offered to help watch my son so that I can get a second job.
Thanks so much for offering so much useful advice. I am truly grateful and I feel a lot more hope than I had before.